I'm just guessing, and I get the sense that you're open to that, so bear with me. I think the fields have sorted out by gender because of intrinsic interests/tendencies, cultural expectations (to your point about self-image), pay (women often can afford to make less while their spouses make more), and finally the systems that naturally come about which enforce those things.
I do think men bear most of the responsibility, and that's largely historical (men controlled the money) and partly because of the sex dynamic.
For my part, I think men, including myself, just have a long way to go to treat women fairly in the workplace. After that, my #2 focus is why "women's work" pays less. Elevating the economic worth of care jobs and such is another great societal discussion that needs a lot of attention.
I'm by no means an expert, so I'll definitely bear with you. But your hypothesis more or less matches mine. I do think you underestimate the amount of sexism men experience in nursing and child-education.
Now my problem is that gender ratio is the key metric we seem to be using to measure sexism in STEM fields, and I don't think any policy is going to fix that. We can try and mitigate cultural expectations, but if those cultural expectations are grounded on intrinsic interests, we're going to have a very hard time getting rid of them.
I think you really need to examine your idea that "men bear most of the responsibility". Men always bear most of the responsibility, and that's one of the oldest stereotypes. Men are generally considered to be more responsible for their own actions then women are. I think it's why they get longer prison sentences for the same crime. If you're not an object, you're a subject.
So why do you think men bear most of the responsibility, aside from historical precedent? Are men best situated to fix these problems?
I will note that a lot of new programmers are indian or asian men, which implies to me that tech is pretty good as far as racial discrimination goes. It certainly seems like a welcoming environment for those visable minorities. Or at least more welcoming then most of the alternatives.
Besides the history and baggage of patriarchy, men bear the responsibility because women still run into double standards of behavior (not allowed to be angry, critical, etc.), inequity of where they can comfortably hang out, and men are more likely to objectify women because of sex interests. Now those are just tendencies and many men do a great job working against them, but they are a massive part of a woman's experience in the workplace and I think men checking other men is the highest priority.
This story is illustrative, I think, and helps me think about women out in the world. My wife went into a bar in DC recently which at that moment was entirely men (imagine 20-30 middle aged male, DC professionals socializing, and they might have been colleagues), so when she ordered a drink, she took it outside. Outside there were two more woman and a tatted up male. What do you think would have happened if she had sat at an empty booth inside? What if she were me, and I'd sat at an empty booth inside? I think she would either been ignored OR one of those men would have seen her presence as an invitation. They would not view my presence as any sort of invitation. Small, fun example, I think, of the work men need to do.
What do you think is wrong with approaching a woman in a bar? After all, it's not a professional space, and she can always leave (as she did) or say "no thank you". Personally, I don't think there's anything men should change in this situation (as long as they're being respectful and non-annoying). If you went to a gay bar, I imagine the effect would be the same (nothing wrong with that either).
Also, thanks (both of you) for an interesting thread!
if you have a smaller set, and an equivalent distribution, smaller width of the bell curve is proportional to its hight.
> I do think men bear most of the responsibility, and [...] partly because of the sex dynamic.
Indeed, but group dynamics within the sexes are a factor, too, so the hypothesis would be incomplete without other closely and tangentially related aspects. Otherwise, if sexual attraction was the strongest drive, you'd have to expect male lab heads preferring female companions. Whereas, ironically, the opposite would have to be called sexual distraction. What do you make of that?
I do think men bear most of the responsibility, and that's largely historical (men controlled the money) and partly because of the sex dynamic.
For my part, I think men, including myself, just have a long way to go to treat women fairly in the workplace. After that, my #2 focus is why "women's work" pays less. Elevating the economic worth of care jobs and such is another great societal discussion that needs a lot of attention.