Bonita was quite phobic about my cables, and so kept insisting that I find some way to hide them such as running them through conduits.
What I was never able to make her understand was that I needed those cables for my work, as well as to pay her art school tuition; to me it was very hurtful that she demanded I hide them. I never complained about her stone chisels.
More to the point, what I wanted - and really needed - was a place in the house that was mine, and mine alone.
For a few years I've been searching all over for the woman I was with during the summer of 1985. The reason we didn't stay together was that her grandmother did not approve of me.
I'm not dead certain but I may have found her street address. She usually goes by her full name - with her middle name - but the woman I found is listed only by her first and last.
Today I bought a blank greeting card with the intention that I would immediately write her a nice letter. Given that I don't know it's really her it's not going to be dripping with romance but more casual, just to say I'd like to be back in contact.
But all afternoon and into the evening I've been dwelling over what we could have had, had her grandmother approved, or had I found some way around her grandmother.
She would be too old to have children by now. That's quite difficult for me to accept but even so I want to see her again, hopefully find some way for us to be together again.
I can understand that. About 20 years ago I briefly dated a young lady that I got along with extremely well. The kind of relationship where we were comfortable enough with each other to casually discuss very personal matters.
The problem was that she had a boyfriend. One day she asked me if I would be her boyfriend if she broke up with the other guy. I told her not to do that because I would always have trust issues with her, knowing that she was a "cheater."
I know that it's easy to idealize what might have been, but to this day I still think about her and that rejecting her was probably the biggest mistake of my life. Shortly after we went our separate ways, I met my future and current wife of 18 years (it's been a difficult marriage, and probably won't last much longer... and should have ended over 10 years ago).
For various reasons, we never had any children, while my ex-"girlfriend" met someone else, and had two children that I know of. Even after all these years, I still think of my ex at least weekly, and imagine what might have been. I've casually tried to locate her over the years, hoping that she might be single again, but without luck.
Anyway, I know this isn't the proper forum for this, but it's something I've never told anyone about and your comment resonated rather strongly. Good luck with your situation!
What I was never able to make her understand was that I needed those cables for my work, as well as to pay her art school tuition; to me it was very hurtful that she demanded I hide them. I never complained about her stone chisels.
More to the point, what I wanted - and really needed - was a place in the house that was mine, and mine alone.