Thanks for your thoughtful comments. I just want to point out that ""The courage to play incompetently is a cure for fear of incompetence" is true, and obviously a tautology. However, it is taken out of context. The full line reads:
Competence is not a cure for the fear of incompetence. The courage to play incompetently is a cure for fear of incompetence. Put in contrast, I think it has more value than standing alone.
quite true. I'm sorry for taking you out of context. It is indeed more valuable that way.
I would ask the next question; which is the more important problem we are trying to "cure" -- the lack of competence or the lack of courage? One can lead to the other, but not vice-versa.
Lack of courage. I really have no incentive to play Go competently except or the fear of being mocked for not playing this game that my peers venerate as being the domain of deep thinkers with fully functioning right brains.
So if I lose the fear, I'm good. It's then irrelevant whether I ever become competent, except possibly that my playing at a certain level of skill would make it interesting for my friends to play me.
But otherwise, it's just the fear that concerns me.
You are being so honest about your ego that there seems little doubt it is starting to dissolve and you will regain the lightness of touch and mood that betokens huge creative power.
Competence is not a cure for the fear of incompetence. The courage to play incompetently is a cure for fear of incompetence. Put in contrast, I think it has more value than standing alone.