In addition to being a space-hogging recapitulation of an old, boring Usenet joke, a lot of your checks are wrong; some of them are because the Usenet joke is lame, but some of them are just you missing things, like the fact that Swift interacts directly with C/ObjC, uses the same IDE as Cocoa developers already use, &c.
This lame Usenet joke was a way of punching down at people joining language newsgroups trying to get people to pay attention to their half-baked language ideas. This, on the other hand, is a language that was introduced on stage at WWDC by Chris Lattner. You can see how especially clumsy the joke is by the fact that you checked off a reason Swift "wasn't going to fly". Obviously, it's going to "fly" just fine on the Mac and in iOS.
Well, I thought it was funny and I enjoyed reading through the list. You're absolutely right that it provides an insight into the past language efforts and the trade-offs that they inevitably encounter.
I hope you remember that when someone tells you something like 'it doesn't work here' that it's an opinion rather than a fact, regardless of how they phrase it.
The USENET era, while sometimes dated, was probably one of times in 'geek' history where we were the closest to one another. The internet was interpersonal, and i'm glad that someone is still trying to propagate the humor and spirit from that time.
I'm not actually familiar with the context in which this checklist was originally written. But I really love it for two reasons:
First, it demonstrates how programming languages have been making the same tradeoffs for years, to the point that someone was able to make a checklist of what's wrong with any programming language that still works years later.
Second, you can fill this out for any of the big programming languages and many will do very badly. It shows how whether a programming language succeeds is unrelated to how good it is. An actually accurate checklist would have one item:
It really doesn't work here, but also, while I appreciate the spirit you pasted it in, that wasn't the spirit it was written in. (And it takes up a huge amount of space).
It is kind of huge. I tried deleting all the non-checked ones but that defeats the purpose, which is for everyone to form their own opinion of what should be checked.
This lame Usenet joke was a way of punching down at people joining language newsgroups trying to get people to pay attention to their half-baked language ideas. This, on the other hand, is a language that was introduced on stage at WWDC by Chris Lattner. You can see how especially clumsy the joke is by the fact that you checked off a reason Swift "wasn't going to fly". Obviously, it's going to "fly" just fine on the Mac and in iOS.