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I wish I didn't know
2 points by mumbi on Aug 3, 2013 | hide | past | favorite | 3 comments
I don't believe in intelligence, I don't believe in IQ, I don't believe that one person is smarter than another person.

I know this isn't HN material, but I've been drinking wine and taking my Klonopins and figured I would vent.

I hate my knowledge but I love my knowledge. I'm so unhappy and wish I didn't know. I wish I was stupid and lived in ignorant bliss. I wish I didn't have to drink and smoke to ignore it all.

I have "major depressive disorder" and I know where it stems from. I know too much. I read too much. I want to learn too much.

I wanted to be a genius when I was a child, I really didn't care about much else. I don't believe in the word genius anymore, because knowledge isn't intelligence.

I feel like there are many out there that feel the same. I feel like you visit this site. I know many of us have knowledge, but we don't know wrong from right.

I'm sorry you feel this way too, I wish that there was something that we could do. I think it's hopeless, but please tell me what to do.



A quickie google search suggests that alcohol and klonopin don't mix. Better watch that.

Depression is nasty business. You need to change things up. Be smart and only change one variable at a time: diet, supplements, sleep, exercise, the usual suspects. Measure, repeat, measure again.

Tell your shrink. If you don't have a shrink, get one. If you have one and you don't relate, get another one. There are good shrinks out there.


Yeah, I know, I have a pretty high tolerance. Thanks for the suggestions, though, I will work on it. As for shrinks, I don't particularly trust them :/, but I will look into it.

Thanks for replying, I appreciate it.


You dont need a shrink, you just need to find yourself.

Sounds like you have been looking very much outside yourself when you should look inside instead. You seem focused on intelligence, IQ, and knowledge. All of those are likely to make you more depressed since you are not meant to be a robot. :)

Hope this helps :)




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