This sounds absolutely terrible. Hopefully they've made significant changes, but the stuff included in the OP's link fits with the story beats mentioned in my link below.
From a review submitted to AICN:
"If this script is unchanged as HBO begins production, it will be one of the worst pilots HBO has ever aired. The draft I read is dated mid October, so God willing Mike Judge (and other writers John Altschuler & Dave Krinsky) get their act together. Frankly, I had to re-read this twice to really take in just how God awful it is.
Even shorter review: Mike Judge drives through Silicon Valley. Once. He then fills a script with uninteresting stereotypes. It is not funny. At all."
"This isn't Office Space humor of reality/biting sarcasm. This isn't Idiocracy humor of the absurd. It's like a drive by concept, that in execution lacks any semblance of humor, because the world they've created isn't believable and the characters they've populated in it lack any semblance of reality."
Who is "Nolan Night"? Is he qualified to review a script? Reading a script is hard. A lot of fantastic movies have screenplays that sound terrible if you don't have an ear for it (and I don't, that's how I know I'm right).
I think it's somewhat interesting that he dedicates so much time ripping on the whole brogrammers thing as stupid without realizing it's a long-running SV in-joke.
From a review submitted to AICN: "If this script is unchanged as HBO begins production, it will be one of the worst pilots HBO has ever aired. The draft I read is dated mid October, so God willing Mike Judge (and other writers John Altschuler & Dave Krinsky) get their act together. Frankly, I had to re-read this twice to really take in just how God awful it is.
Even shorter review: Mike Judge drives through Silicon Valley. Once. He then fills a script with uninteresting stereotypes. It is not funny. At all."
"This isn't Office Space humor of reality/biting sarcasm. This isn't Idiocracy humor of the absurd. It's like a drive by concept, that in execution lacks any semblance of humor, because the world they've created isn't believable and the characters they've populated in it lack any semblance of reality."
link to full review: http://www.aintitcool.com/node/60283