And Kubernetes kinda built a BEAM... kinda :) Like, if everyone would just use BEAM then it's true (lol).

How does BEAM renew my certificates, configure reverse-proxies, mount networked storage volumes to whichever node a given process is running on and handle cronjobs, disk pressure and secrets?

I sure hope it doesn't involve a bunch of shell scripts to create a new, ad hoc, informally-specified, bug-ridden...

Nah Kubernetes is a systems level, language agnostic (at least doesn’t force you to run Golang workloads) variant of J2EE. It’s basically modern day Websphere

What is BEAM? I get, like, physical beams when I try looking it up.

Erlang virtual machine

Oh ok

Would you like to explain the similarity you see between them? Apart from both of them being designed for resiliency, I don't see any.