It's possible the phrase "personal attack" means something a bit different to you than to me, because otherwise I don't think we're really disagreeing. Your good intentions are clear and I appreciate it! We can use a different phrase if you prefer.
I'd just add one other thing: there's one word in your post here which packs a huge amount of meaning and that's seemed (as in "seemed to be coming from a place [etc.]"). I can't tell you how often it happens that what seems one way to one user—even when the "seems" seems overwhelmingly likely, as in near-impossible that it could be any other way—turns out to simply be mistaken, or at least to seem quite opposite to the other person. It's thousands of times easier to make a mistake in this way than people realize; and unfortunately the cost can be quite high when that happens because the other person often feels indignant ("how dare you assume that I [etc.]").
I'd just add one other thing: there's one word in your post here which packs a huge amount of meaning and that's seemed (as in "seemed to be coming from a place [etc.]"). I can't tell you how often it happens that what seems one way to one user—even when the "seems" seems overwhelmingly likely, as in near-impossible that it could be any other way—turns out to simply be mistaken, or at least to seem quite opposite to the other person. It's thousands of times easier to make a mistake in this way than people realize; and unfortunately the cost can be quite high when that happens because the other person often feels indignant ("how dare you assume that I [etc.]").
In the present case, I don't know anything about the experience level of the user who posted https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=45011628, but https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=45011442 was definitely posted by someone who has managed heavy-duty web facing services, and that comment says more or less the same thing as the other one.