My wife told me straight out, she wasn't attracted to me when we first met, but after spending some time with me, she became attracted to me on an emotional level and the physical attraction apparently followed, I can say the same for her, she was definitely classically attractive, but the more time I spent with her, the more attractive she became.
Before I met my wife I knew a different woman while we were in college, she wasn't classically attractive, and wasn't attractive to me, but we spent lots of time in the same social circles, and over time grew emotionally close, she apparently had been attracted to me the whole time, but I only started to see her as beautiful after over a year, we didn't end up exploring any of that for other reasons (and bullet dodged apparently because she started to go down a very damaging ideological path) but I could have seen that relationship blossoming into something much closer and it involved two people who most wouldn't consider attractive. beauty is definitely in the eyes of the beholder and claiming there is objective beauty is setting yourself up for failure.
Above all else, if you really want to live a better life, stop spending all day obsessing over people who have a bunch of physical attributes that society is telling you are desirable. Especially, if you rarely see people like that in real life. This includes, movies, tiktok, insta, and obviously, though possibly the hardest to cut, porn. All those give you a warped sense of what normal is and give you expectations that you will never actualize.
Before I met my wife I knew a different woman while we were in college, she wasn't classically attractive, and wasn't attractive to me, but we spent lots of time in the same social circles, and over time grew emotionally close, she apparently had been attracted to me the whole time, but I only started to see her as beautiful after over a year, we didn't end up exploring any of that for other reasons (and bullet dodged apparently because she started to go down a very damaging ideological path) but I could have seen that relationship blossoming into something much closer and it involved two people who most wouldn't consider attractive. beauty is definitely in the eyes of the beholder and claiming there is objective beauty is setting yourself up for failure.
Above all else, if you really want to live a better life, stop spending all day obsessing over people who have a bunch of physical attributes that society is telling you are desirable. Especially, if you rarely see people like that in real life. This includes, movies, tiktok, insta, and obviously, though possibly the hardest to cut, porn. All those give you a warped sense of what normal is and give you expectations that you will never actualize.