Oh buddy... you're not normal. If you're yoyoing 50 pounds then you also have the eating disorder.
Trust me on this. I also thought it was a self-control thing. It's not at all. When you're normal you actually get full. I don't mean telling yourself you are full, actually full. You do not want to eat anymore. You don't want chocolate straight after eating dinner. You don't go to the fridge randomly to get snacks. You actually have no desire for food. You voluntarily stop eating during meals because you don't want to eat anymore.
It's something you can't really comprehend without experiencing it because you've experienced a lifetime of the hunger constantly telling you to eat. The idea that you could just... not want to eat is just absurd. But that's how it feels. When a normal person eats a small meal and says they are full, they are actually full. There's no self-control for them, no screaming voice or impulses.
Miswrote: I don't yo-yo 50lb normally. Only once during the pandemic gained that much and I was purposely eating like shit bc I was angry with the lockdown situation and had nothing else to do. Just used that as an example that if I actually just eat as much as I want (like eat till I'm full-full 3x a day) with no control, I'd be 50lb heavier. But 95% of my adult life post college (9+ years), I hover around the same weight.
I guess I understand what you mean that you'd think that every skinny person must actually be full after eating and that's why they're like that, but everyone I know who is in shape (like really in shape, either ex college athlete or lives the gym life now and would be considered top 5% of the population), they absolutely do not feel full every meal/day. I mean talking about planning cheat meals and fantasizing about certain foods is super common in the fitness lifestyle.
I've met maybe 3 people in my entire life who have what you're describing: they truly don't care about food and can forget to eat meals if distracted. All the others have some form of habit/routine and wish they could eat more and stay lean.
I'm not discounting that some people really struggle with eating habits and literally cannot stop thinking to eat more (I have family members like that) but I do heavily disagree that 'normal' people are always full quickly and that's why they are 'normal' weight.
If it was a simple normal/not normal appetite wiring then why do most major cities contain way more skinny people and places like Mississippi are almost 50% obese? Or the fact that obesity was pretty rare 100 years ago. I think there's a lot more going on than just 'normal people get full quicker'.
Trust me on this. I also thought it was a self-control thing. It's not at all. When you're normal you actually get full. I don't mean telling yourself you are full, actually full. You do not want to eat anymore. You don't want chocolate straight after eating dinner. You don't go to the fridge randomly to get snacks. You actually have no desire for food. You voluntarily stop eating during meals because you don't want to eat anymore.
It's something you can't really comprehend without experiencing it because you've experienced a lifetime of the hunger constantly telling you to eat. The idea that you could just... not want to eat is just absurd. But that's how it feels. When a normal person eats a small meal and says they are full, they are actually full. There's no self-control for them, no screaming voice or impulses.