If I could download it and run it on a private server in the basement, without any ties to the cloud, and with my own settings for privacy, then I'd be more willing to use the things.
Same. I actually really enjoy using it for basic functions but I am too concerned about privacy to use one for anything more advanced. I don't know if I would ever trust a Siri or Alexa or Google Assistant even if they claimed to work offline because all providers have had a terrible track record. If the Linux Foundation or reputable open source project had a solid open source solution that promised to work 80% as well and had a fairly straightforward installer, then I'd be more apt to interact with it regularly. One other issue I've found with Alexa and others is their integration with proprietary lock-in ecosystems for calendars, reminders, lists, etc. Ideally with an open source solution you could do things like set a write only calendar that uses your CalDav calendar and CardDav for contacts, or some non-invasive solution for messaging and calling.
This is exactly how I feel. On the one hand, this technology seems completely miraculous (I remember watching Star Trek TNG back in the day and thinking the "computer" was about the coolest thing imaginable).
Now it's here, it works amazing well (considering what it's doing), and . . . I'm talking to Apple, Google, and Amazon? No thanks . . .
If I could download it and run it on a private server in the basement, without any ties to the cloud, and with my own settings for privacy, then I'd be more willing to use the things.