"Imagine a progress bar that involved Dogbert using a mallet to pound the Pointy-Haired Boss into the ground" - I'm sorry Scott, but this just smacks too much of the hugely-reviled clippy. Treating your users like idiots might amuse a few, but will completely alienate the rest. Those of us with an IQ greater than a handful of salt might take the time (while the regular progress bar is creeping up) to do something else, more productive. Like read HN :)