I think I had a burnout at home. It was just too much: 90% to 100% job, 3 kids, house, and the constant feel of (self?) pressure to make it all better, always be prepared and such at home.
My wife and me separated almost a year ago, and since then share the care of our kids by 50/50. She works a lot (80%), I work a lot (90%). It only works because the kids go to school, I can work from home 2 days and we have grand parents that help when in need.
I just feel so free and unleashed. She too. And the kids are fine as well.
Finally no one is putting any pressure on me at home except for myself. I have such a great time with the kids and I really enjoy it. And I still love my job, as I always did, working more or less 8.5h a day.
Anyway what I wanted to say is, that you can also have a burnout at home. I was such an emotionless dead guy.
I'm not sure there is no cure, and I agree that whenever I feel this "pressure" again in a new relationship (not that I had many), I feel like I'd like to run away and stay single. Which makes me sad. But on the other hand I rarely was as happy and free as I am now.
Edit: Bookmarked this article and will certainly read it. Thanks for sharing such stories.
There definitely are things you can do, but in my experience when you feel this way it is really hard to do them.
I've been reading and listening to a few things that are helping me. One thing I've been learning about recently are the body's responses to chronic stress, such as the release of cortisol in the body, and the long term damage that can do. And about allostatic load, which helps explain how it gets perpetually worse as time goes by.
The author's experience is real of course, but it doesn't sound like she is an authority to discuss if it can be cured or not.
Rick Hanson has been a life saver. He is a psychologist with lots of meditation practice. https://www.rickhanson.net/
Also I've really enjoyed Heart Math. That book is where I learned about the physiological explanation of stress. And it has exercises that have helped me in moments of aniexty. Like waking up at 3am with worries and stress.
Yes there's something larger than work. Many people (me included) needed to learn to check their own needs and keep joy in view vs all kinds of expectations.
Anyway what I wanted to say is, that you can also have a burnout at home. I was such an emotionless dead guy. I'm not sure there is no cure, and I agree that whenever I feel this "pressure" again in a new relationship (not that I had many), I feel like I'd like to run away and stay single. Which makes me sad. But on the other hand I rarely was as happy and free as I am now.
Edit: Bookmarked this article and will certainly read it. Thanks for sharing such stories.