EDIT: oh, you are a different commenter than black-tea.
Well, the points still stand. Your position is different than his.
———
> flame-bait
I’m not trying to divert the conversation to pointless angry arguments. I’m trying to direct attention to the core thesis of the post.
Genuinely. I don’t know how to persuade you that I’m not trolling, but I’m not. I care deeply about this topic.
> implicit, obvious rule
The rules which people call obvious are often very hard to learn because people are unwilling to give clear feedback about them. If someone grew up in a boisterous family from New Jersey and who learned that people speaking over each other is fine, why would it be obvious to them that what they were doing was rude?
Getting kicked out without clear feedback just conveys “people don’t like me”. Nothing obligates you to teach them, but its nice to. And I think “this person isn’t willing to listen to/adjust their behavior in response to feedback” is a very reasonable line to draw for kicking someone out.
But I’d ask you to you recognise the differences among “everyone who in my honest judgement isn’t rude”, “everyone who is open to feedback”, and “everyone who has read the book”
Well, the points still stand. Your position is different than his.
———
> flame-bait
I’m not trying to divert the conversation to pointless angry arguments. I’m trying to direct attention to the core thesis of the post.
Genuinely. I don’t know how to persuade you that I’m not trolling, but I’m not. I care deeply about this topic.
> implicit, obvious rule
The rules which people call obvious are often very hard to learn because people are unwilling to give clear feedback about them. If someone grew up in a boisterous family from New Jersey and who learned that people speaking over each other is fine, why would it be obvious to them that what they were doing was rude?
Getting kicked out without clear feedback just conveys “people don’t like me”. Nothing obligates you to teach them, but its nice to. And I think “this person isn’t willing to listen to/adjust their behavior in response to feedback” is a very reasonable line to draw for kicking someone out.
But I’d ask you to you recognise the differences among “everyone who in my honest judgement isn’t rude”, “everyone who is open to feedback”, and “everyone who has read the book”